Fair Game
by Orenjiro-Chan
Summary: Ryou decides to get a job at the new cafe and happens to witness a nasty breakup between Kaiba and Otogi. So,being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Kaiba out. As if life wasn't complicated enough...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Oh boy, I don't own Yu-gi-oh (that's for sure)… Ano, right…

**Summary**: Ryou decides to get a job at a café and happens to witness a nasty break up between Seto Kaiba and Ryuuji Otogi. So, being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Seto out… Life wasn't complicated enough…

**Couples**:

Eventual RyouxSeto.

Hints of SetoxOtogi.

**A/N: **Don't flame please, constructive criticism is fine, but yelling people senselessly is a tad over-doing it, hai? the small things in life make me happy.

**Fair Game**

Chapter One

I've often wondered why so many things have gone wrong in my life… But, I suppose without the bad things in life, we would never appreciate the good. What bothers me is that I never seem to have control over the way _my _life is run… It's somewhat like rolling the dice and hoping you get the number you need to head forward a few more paces. Or drawing the right card… In chess, you have control over many lives, you are the true leader that can order the king and all he rules over.

But it seems only Yuugi Moutou and his dark have the power of the heart of the cards, Kaiba Seto the chessboard and Otogi Ryuuji the dice.

Then of course, there's Monster World, domain of Mou Hitori no Boku. In that game you are either the lord of the world or a small little figure of wood on the game board, at the mercy of the greater power above.

And I fear that I am most certainly not the greater power above…

"Bakura…?" Ah, yes, that reminds me.

We gather here today to commemorate the soul of my now passed on TV. It was a brave piece of machinery, and stood its ground to the very last moments of its life as it served us faithfully, showing us the grand Iron Chef marathon. Its life will not be wasted and--

"Ay-uh, Bakura, you okay, man..?"

Okay, okay, calm down… Ignore him.

We will forever remember how well it showed us our favorite programs, from Ringu to the latest dueling tournaments. We will not remember how you died though, courtesy of the dreaded evil, Jounouchi Katsuya. We will only remember how good of a friend you were and forever will be.

I was nearly ready to ask Jounouchi the demon seed of he wanted to say any final words to my TV. But I feared that if I asked him that, it may come out something similar to "Jounouchi, do you have any last words..?"

"Bakura, I said I was sorry-" he began again. I turned and smiled at him, trying to mimic Mou Hitori no Boku's own psychotic expression. I'm not at all surprised however, that I failed miserably and ended up with yet another normal sweet smile. Often times I've wondered who's luckier out of the two of us. The one who can't look evil if he tried or the one who can't even fathom the word "nice." I do believe once I tried to be er, "bad…"

I glued a coin to the sidewalk once and sat up in a tree in the park and watched a little girl try and pick it up. I felt so guilty when she couldn't, that I ended up paying her 500 yen… She smiled at me, but not before she burst into tears and her mother came running over. After she explained to the woman how "meanie-face" had absolutely "made a mockery of her," her mother went up to me, hit me with her purse, grabbed her daughter's hand and promptly walked away.

_/It was 1,000 yen, Yadounushi ./ _And so the Great Thief Lord Bakura speaks. A.k.a Great Pain-In-My-

_/You're the hikari, boy, keep the roles right. / _And so the Great Thief Bakura leaves.

I can't ever win in this world. I believe the score is now, ano, one moment…

Greater power above: infinity.

Bakura Ryou: -5.

"No, no, Jounouchi, don't worry about me, but if you don't mind, I'd like to clean up the room now," I sighed. He looked at me, eyes rather large and mouth the size of a pinprick. If not for that fact that he had just driven his foot through the screen of my one and only TV I think that I may have laughed. May have, I say, _may have. _

"Bakura, would you like us to stay and help you clean up…?" I sighed and smiled at Yuu-gi. Such a nice person, though highly aggravating at times…

"No. Not at all. You may all leave now," I nodded, still smiling. I believe I didn't need the scary 5,000-year-old ghost's smirk to successfully scare Yuu-gi-tachi. If you look sickeningly sweet enough, they will go away. This I have learned through several grieving experiments…

They looked at each other and nodded. I believe that they have a secret code that they haven't told me about, so they can communicate without actually speaking and can therefore create plots to ruin my life. And I also believe that I have had one too many years with an ancient spirit around my neck. The latter seems more reasonable.

Yuu-gi-tachi grinned at me and waved good-bye turning around to leave my apartment. I followed behind them, keeping a careful eye on Jounouchi and Honda to make sure that the two didn't cause chaos to break out once again of it's tightly bound cage and wreak another one of my appliances. This _month_ I've recorded to be beyond repair my rice-maker, a mirror (which I believe is to blame for the rest of the items broken), my laptop and now, my TV.

It would happen to be the 7th, not the 27th or the 31st, but the 7th.

I opened the door for them and said my fair-wells as politely as I could. They repeated their murmurs of their own good-byes again and just as Anzu opened her mouth to say something I made sure to look away quickly, avoided eye contact and then closed the door quickly and firmly. I securely locked it the door as soon as it was shut. The last thing I needed right now was an Anzu lecture. Today I have already not only endured a Yami-Yuu-gi destiny rant, a broken TV because of Jounouchi, an empty refrigerator because of Honda and a long conversation with Yuu-gi about the powers of the Dark Magician.

I really do not need Anzu at this point in time.

I've often wondered why the greater power above so hates me. Or takes such entertainment in warping my life. Someone up there is laughing hysterically now, with the game board in front of them. They're pointing a finger at my little wooden figurine, finding it incredibly entertaining as I'm about to have a break down.

I do feel a bit bad for slamming the door shut in their faces like that though… It was a bit rude… Perhaps I should apologize later- No.

I turned to face the horror that lived in my apartment. I resisted the urge to scream out in terror. No apology will be needed now, I suppose. I contented myself a simple comment that came out in a brutal hiss. Well, compared to my normal behavior anyway. I wonder if they offer "how to be mean" courses in college.

"Must. Clean."

Papers thrown carelessly, sofa cushions in the kitchen, plants over-turned, and pizza boxes strewn across the floor with the pizza well out of their containers. Cleaning was going to be hard. Resisting the urge to cry was even harder. I walked over to my kitchen and got the cleaning supplies from under the sink and began to clean as best I could.

Which wasn't very good at all really.

As I scrubbed I thought quietly to myself as to how I would be able to explain the broken TV to my father… He wouldn't be very happy about this—but then again, he wouldn't be home for another three months. Yes, I think that was about enough time to well, _fix_ the TV. If I could. While I was wiping pizza sauce from the ground I looked over at the TV.

"So, explain to me, how can you be fixed..?" The broken screen of the poor thing was utterly silent.

_CRACK._

"AAHHH!"

Yes, I do realize that I just screamed despite my _large_ amount of dignity. The thing sparked at me! In all honesty, the TV spat a piece of its highly-dangerous-electric-spit at me! I stood up from where I had fallen and walked over to it cautiously. I was about two feet away from it before it suddenly shot a defiant spark at me. After another shriek, I gained my courage and I frowned, placing my hands on my hips.

"And just for that, you my friend, will be replaced."

Another spark.

"Oh, shut up, I knew I couldn't fix you anyway."

It took me a total of three hours to clean my apartment, and while on a roll I decided to tidy up my room. Well, not so much tidy up my room so much as neglect my cleaning supplies in a corner and look through some of my old papers. I found something that I had drawn in kindergarten, along with some old reports I had done for school many years ago. I finally came across a picture of my family that I hadn't remembered putting there. I looked at it for a moment, biting my lip. No, not right now, too stressful a day already.

Next was a picture of my friends and I at Duelist Kingdom. If you look closely I believe you can see the Millennium Eye in my pocket. Jounouchi and Honda have made so many crude jokes about the bulge in my pocket that I grew terribly close to losing my temper and having Mou hitori no Boku go through with his threat of "removing their own bulges in their pockets."

Next was another picture of us on Kaiba's blimp, I believe it was somehow confiscated from a security camera. We were all standing there eating our food before the finals and if you looked closely enough, you could detect the vague outline of Kaiba standing in the background.

That man honestly makes me wonder. You'd think with such dedication to his brother and job that he'd have the same kind of mentality for everything in life- - but apparently not. I don't think he's at all a bad person, but I do think he could afford to be a bit more amiable.

I found another picture of my family before tucking the papers and photographs away and then looking over at the clock next to my bed. It was getting late, eleven thirty, frankly. I got up, brushing the imaginary dust off my jeans and then went off to go get ready for bed. Tomorrow morning I would go and check to see what TVs I could replace my current one with, hopefully one that looked the same so that way when father did come back he wouldn't slip into a coma.

And knowing him, I don't doubt it either.

…_After several hours of sleep…_

"Ryou? Ryou, Ryou, let me in!" I nearly answered back groggily "not on a hair of my chiny chin chin.(1)" The doorbell rang a few more times. I sat up from my bed and grabbed my alarm clock. The green numbers flashed "6:03…" I fell back into the haven of my blankets and pillow, mumbling incoherently. The knocking continued along with the chiming of the doorbell. With each ring it seemed to get louder and angrier, as if yelling at me, "get up fool and open the door so this fool will stop pressing my buttons."

Yes, the doorbell has always been this comical. Say nothing of my mental state.

"Ryou, I know you're in there, let me in!" It took me a few moments to register who it was that was speaking to me. Or rather at me, through the door. I wonder how loud he would have to be in order for me to hear him loud and clear through the door and the rest of my apartment… I wonder what the neighbors must- oh, no… The neighbors…

I immediately jumped off of my bed and ran to the door, ripping it open and grabbing his shirt to pull him inside my dim apartment. I poked my head outside, looking for any signs of my land lord having a fit or my neighbors coming over to beat me lifeless. Thankfully there was none. Just a mortified bird perched in the railing. I closed the door and let out a breath I hadn't realized that I'd been holding.

"Ryou! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID TO ME?"

And my moment of peace has been demolished by none other than Otogi Ryuuii… I knew that clown would pull off something like this.

"And ohayou (2) to you as well, Otogi," I sighed hopelessly, walking into the kitchen to put a pot of tea on the stove. He was still fuming as he sat on the sofa. His face was set in a permanent pout, arms crossed firmly over his chest, except for one hand which was passionately and faithfully swirling a piece of his hair. I watched him for a moment longer before feeling the need to break the silence.

"Ogenki desu ka? (3)" I couldn't help but ask. His head snapped around to glare at me. Before I knew it he had somehow managed to get into the kitchen from the couch in less than a second. He was now pacing angrily, mumbling curses and I suppose talking to me. I wasn't quite sure. I stopped paying attention really to what he was saying at about 6:05 this morning.

"Can you believe him? He told _me, **me**_ that I wasn't putting enough effort into this relationship to make it work! Can you believe that! ME! Look at him!" Otogi continued, waving an arm in the hair for drama. He nearly knocked the kettle off the stove, I winced, waiting for the impact of the kettle on the floor or the scream when the hot water hit him. None came thankfully.

"He blew off our last three dates! Not only that, but for Valentine's Day all he did was send me an e-mail saying 'love you, happy v-day,' and that's it! IT WASN'T EVEN FROM HIM! He had his secretary send it!" I considered telling him perhaps that the secretary liked him and that Kaiba didn't remember. I think that would have made the situation worse, so I had made a clever move and just ended up saying nothing.

"I don't know what to do about him! My work this, my work that, well, if anything _I _should be his damned-work!"

Of this, I only caught about half the sentence. Something about work was all I heard. I was in a state of trauma that he might knock over my tea. And at this time on a Sunday morning I severely needed my tea… And a dosage of Tylenol. Otogi's voice is too high-pitched for this uncivilized time of day.

"Ryou? Bakura are you even listening to me, you goubert (4)!" he yelled, knocking a fist on a my head. I whined and gave him a hurt look. He softened up slightly, patting my head and then went back to his ranting.

I said nothing the entire time, and took the studying the pants I had chosen to fall asleep in. Blue. Flannel. How nice.

"So, what do you think I should do, Ryou..? I mean, this guy is absolutely unbelievable!"

Oh, no, I've been caught…

"Ur, well, I think you should talk to him," I said, hoping in all honesty that it would work. Nope, that'd be too easy. The higher power above does't like me, remember?

"TALK TO HIM! NEVER AGAIN!"

And cue my heavy sighing. It was a clever way to buy time so I could think of an answer that didn't actually imply that I wasn't paying attention to him for the past couple of minutes.

"Well, think of some redeeming qualities of Kaiba," I tried, swinging my legs back and forth the watch the pattern of the flannel flex in different ways. Cross, uncross, sway, don't sway… And so the cycle continued. I do believe that I'm borderline ADHD.

"I can't in this state of mind!" His immediate response was. I gave him a warning look that it was too early in the morning to be stubborn. He sniffled a bit before answering in a low and resentful voice.

"Well, he's… smart… rich…hot…" At which time the teakettle started to boil and whistle. I jumped at the sound, as I had forgotten about my tea… I believe the teakettle was harboring some secret emotions for the Kaiba Corp. president. Yes, I do feel the need to personify every object in my home. The result of living by yourself too long.

"Anything else?" I pressed on, rushing over to turn off the stove so I didn't completely evaporate all the water. I believed he answered something along the lines of "no" except in ten sentences, all of which including the word "bastard," so I basically ignored him once again. I asked him mid-sentence,

"Tea?"

"That bastard son of a b-why, yes, thank you- had better shape up otherwise I'm gonna…" And so he continued. I gave him a tea bag and took some black tea for myself. I blew away the steam for a minute before I took a chance and sipped slowly, yet still burned my tongue. Pleasant day, pleasant day…

Otogi however took his tea in one big swing and then continued to yell obscenities at the elder Kaiba.

"I still can't believe it! Not only that but he doesn't pick up my calls anymore, hardly replies to my e-mails, and not only that but his brother says that he hasn't been up to anything this week and has basically been moping around the house and office, crankier than usual! I mean come on! Take a vacation or something! And better yet, take me with you! You do realize, Bakura, that he and I haven't had a date in a month! A MONTH. And when he does call me he's just like 'Oh, Otogi, I'll see you soon,' yadda, yadda, dear Kami-sama, does this man ever have healthy relationships with anything other than his computers! I've been the laughing stock of-"

He continued so for forty more minutes and three cups of tea later. My stomach ached and grumbled as my hand reached for some more tea. Apparently, no more. Finally, I turned to Otogi, and said meekly.

"Why don't you just set up a date with him, tell him everything you've told me and then go on with life and see how he feels?"

…

This thought, it appeared, had not at all occurred to the man.

He makes me wonder as well.

"I think I'll do just that…" He said finally. I sighed and went to go make myself some toast.

"Can I have some too? I haven't had breakfast yet," I nodded and retrieved the bread again. I went to the refrigerator to go get the jelly as well as think about Otogi's and Kaiba's relationship. Now that I thought about it, they're relationship wasn't all that great to begin with. The two were always busy and never really had time for each other, not only that, but they were both high-maintenance people…

"Um, Ryou, can I have strawberry jelly? I don't like grape."

Case closed. After I finished with the toast I handed him a plate and we ate silently on the sofa. Otogi of course felt the need all the while to sit in a butterfly stretch, so that he used up most the room of the sofa. He seemed to be itching to ask something though. He was fidgeting in his seat as though a spider had been racing around him. Perhaps though, with out the screaming. He kept glancing over at me, and then back to the toast, snickering about something. I did not like it at all. I wondered if I had anything on my face and I felt extremely self-conscious at that moment.

"Yes?" I said finally, casting him a confused look.

"In the case you ever wonder why you can't find a date…" he said, nodding towards television.

And though I had no idea what that comment remotely meant…

Otogi's face, I would like to introduce to you Mister Pillow.

**TBC…**

**Rough translations:**

1- I know this wouldn't work in Japanese, but I couldn't resist.

2- Good morning.

3- Are you in good spirits?

4- What my mother has come to call me when she believes I'm being an idiot.

**A/N:** Did you like it? Please tell me in a review! That's a pretty purple button down at the left hand of the screen, feel free to press it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Oh boy, I don't own Yu-gi-oh (that's for sure)… Ano, right…

**Summary**: Ryou decides to get a job at a café and happens to witness a nasty break up between Seto Kaiba and Ryuuji Otogi. So, being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Seto out. Life wasn't complicated enough…

**Couples**:

Eventual RyouxSeto.

Hints of SetoxOtogi.

**A/N: **Four reviews, savvy.

**Jess-Chan of the Nya Nya Neko: **Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it so much.

**Dehctiweb**Ah, yes, RyouxSeto is my fav. pair as well, as you can probably tell… Thank you for the review!

**Higuchimon** Yes, I have this strange obsession with neglecting grammar, as my English teacher often reminds me… () Nice that it made you laugh. That's always an up. Thanks for the review.

**Lil-Riter:** I hope you are feeling better. You didn't have to leave a review and yet you did, despite your mood, that's very cool of you. Thank you for putting my fic. on your fav. story list.

**Fair Game**

Chapter Two

I dare say that one day soon I will also be saying a funerary speech for Otogi as well. Perhaps my cellmates won't like that very much though. And Mou Hitori no Boku even less… He finds Otogi quite disagreeable because of his high-pitched and very caucus loud voice. I do admit that it is very intimidating, but his interesting character makes up for it. It's not nearly as curious as Yuu-gi's very high voice… Or mine… I sighed while eating my toast. And successfully choked on the piece of the crust. I wanted to cry at that moment.

Somehow I always manage to dig myself into a ditch and can't seem to ever get out. Life, much like the greater power above, loves me.

"No, really, what happened to it…? It wasn't…" he asked, eyeing the Ring around my neck and then looking back up at me. I shook my head slowly.

"No, something much worse. And why must you always blame him for everything? He hasn't done anything important or exciting lately, let alone Earth-dominating. I believe the most interesting thing he's done this month is say that we need more bamboo in the house," I explained to him, taking another bite of my toast. Otogi looked at me concerned, before munching on a corner of his toast.

That was a strange day. He and I were both sleeping and it was nearing midnight when suddenly he felt the urge to wake me up, sit besides me on the bed, take my hand in his and then say "get some bamboo for the house- - and get me them now." It took every ounce of courage to resist the urge to ask him when he'd lost his marbles while he handed me a crumbled piece of paper from his pocket with a store number written on it and then he disappeared. I hadn't heard a word from him after that event since yesterday actually; he's been dangerously quiet. He's like a small misbehaving child… You know they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing when they're quiet.

I think Otogi is answering my comment. Oh well.

But mo matter how interesting the subject is, or even more intriguing the reason as to why he brought it up, I'm a bit afraid to ask or take action myself and step into his soul room. It's hardly worth losing my life over… Which I know he won't hesitate really to do so… I do often wonder though why he's mellowed out so much in these past few months. I believe he's in dueling withdrawal.

Perhaps I should keep him that way.

/ If you do I will sedate you with enough stuff to kill a camel. Get the damned bamboo now, you only bought two sticks.. /

This scared me terribly so that I jumped off my cushion and onto Otogi.

"…Ryou..?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat and then looked down at him for a moment before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You, ano, you looked like you needed a hug," was my excuse. He sighed and patted my back with one hand. I feel the need to pat myself on the back as well, for my amazing improvisation skills.

"And so do you, my friend, but if you don't mind, you're sitting in my toast," he said sweetly, grinning at me. I sat up slowly and got off the couch as gracefully as I could. I looked at his plate, there was no toast there. I opened my mouth to scold him for this before he pointed towards me. Technically.

Carefully I turned my head around. Indeed, there was a large piece of bread plastered to my rear because of the jelly.

Great power above: infinity and one.

Bakura Ryou: -6.

The sad thing is that at birth I'm sure the greater power above and I both started out at zero.

I very cautiously pulled it off and winced at the large square of pink jelly now on my pants. That's one stain that will not come out very well, much like that big chunk of embarrassment that has been hanging over my head ever since I happened to come in contact with another human... I sighed a very long and heavy sigh.

"Are we done fancying our own ass' now?" He asked. I turned to him, blushing a bright red. The cocky man sat, smirking at me evilly, playing with a piece of his hair again. This was not at all fair, now if his rear was covered in jelly, perhaps I would have something to work with… No, now that I think about it, I'd probably still be in the same awkward position as I am now.

"No, we are not!" was the first good come back I was able to muster in my defense.

"How about now?"

"NO."

"Look, Ryou, I know you've got a cute ass and all but-"

"No! I meant we are not fancying our ass'!" I exclaimed, putting my hands hand my back, self-conscious again. He burst out into laughter, draping himself across my sofa. I was still blushing I think, when I sniffled at him, highly embarrassed. Only he could pull off such a stunt.

One day, Otogi, the greater power above will get you too.

"I'm going to go change now," I announced, walking to my room, backside facing the wall. He only laughed louder. I came out a few minutes later, now changed. I had my regular blue and white striped shirt with a pair of jeans. But of course, my laundry was not done so I ended up wearing my jeans from yesterday. I walked up to him and stood above him for a moment. He was still lying across my sofa, an arm lying over his eyes.

"Otogi? Otogi I know you're not asleep," I said, tapping his elbow slightly. He groaned.

"Not yet, but I've been waiting here for days, Ryou!" I frowned, slightly offended.

"I didn't take that long! Only ten minutes, and I had to brush my teeth as well."

"Yes, you did take that long," not willing to step down from his point.

I opened my mouth again to say that last time I was at his house he took thirty minutes to choose an outfit. And another hour and a half to brush his hair, teeth and change… By that time Yuu-gi had fallen back asleep, along with the rest of his friends. And myself. We missed our movie that evening. But considering how much he had lightened up in the past hour or so made me not want to bring up any sour note again. If any thing was bad for his health (and mine) it was bringing up Kaiba Seto again. I smiled, thinking about how much happier he was now.

His arm lifted and a green eye fixed its gaze on me.

"What?" he asked, sitting up. I stopped smiling like a loon into space and then turned to face him.

"Nothing, now come, I need to go buy a new TV," I said, a new wave of determination capturing me, a fist raised high into the air, hoping for victory. And apparently a poetic one as well…

"No, really though, you never told me what happened to your beloved," he said, shrugging a shoulder in the direction of my "beloved."

"I did tell you- - a creature far worse than dark," I said, shaking my head, pointing to my ring and giving him another tired smile. He understood suddenly.

"Jounouchi, huh?"

"Yes, sadly. He has a heart of gold but--"

"A head of rock. If there's anything Seto and I can agree on, it's our opinions of Jounouchi," he muttered, casting an irritated look at my broken TV. It did not sputter back any comment, and for this I was thankful. I do not like to be scared inside my own home.

Or embarrassed.

Otogi swung his legs over the sofa and linked his arm with mine, taking me from the apartment. I managed to barely grab my keys and wallet from the counter before he swung the door on my hand. I clutched my hand to my chest, completely in shock at the thought of losing it.

I could see it now, I'd be the only person is history to have ever lost a hand because his best friend slammed it between a door and its frame… What would I ever do? I would never drive… I would never- oh, my, what would Mou Hitori no Boku think! No, no, mustn't think about that… No need to stress myself out at this point…

He picked me up from the ground, as if _I_ was being the misbehaving child. No, that was either Otogi himself, or mou hitori no boku…

I'm not because I'm 16 years old, so "ha."

"Let's go, Ryou, the day is young!" he said happily, throwing both arms into the air. I made sure to duck before my head was added to the list of items broken this month.

"Yes, but so am I, calm down!" I said, as he grabbed my hand to lead me downstairs. Otogi Ryuuji, mood-swing extraordinaire… I believe if scientists were to study him, a large newspaper article would come out, and the new discovery would made headlines all over the world… Through the internet, phones, etc etc.

Otogi Ryuuji is a new form of human. When reaching years, usually 13-19, he becomes wildly uncivil, has a huge lack of common sense and what makes of for this lack is a gross amount of hormones.

Wait, I believe this discovery has been made before; it is called "teenager."

I was roughly pulled from my thoughts, and quite literally, actually. We turned a corner very badly so that my nose nearly collided with the corner of the wall. But before we disappeared from my floor, I believe I saw a flash of the little bird that was utterly mortified fall from its place on the banister. There was only one proper thing to do with a mortified, probably dead bird. And I thought yesterday was an exuberant day…

"Otogi, Otogi stop! We need to go save the bird!" I wailed, tugging against his hand. Most unfortunately he is not only taller than me, and heavier than me, but also stronger.

"What…?" He said, still skipping at an insanely fast pace down the stairs.

"The bird, Otogi, the bird which you have paralyzed for fear of its sanity!" He stopped this time and so I tumbled into his back, momentum still the better of me.

How sad… I believe I saw my life flashing before my eyes there… Oh, so that's where the batteries went--

_FWUMP. _

_THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP._

_THUD. _

And so our cascade down the stairs ended. Now I just need to wait for the headache to do the same… I groaned, rubbing my head as I tried to sit up.

"Ow, hey, Ryou, what happened?" I heard Otogi ask. Please note how I said "_tried_ to sit up." He had been the lucky one and landed on top of me. He was sitting atop my belly now, smacking my chest a few times.

"You okay down there, little buddy?" He asked again. I coughed and smiled warily, I felt kinda dizzy…

"Sure, sure, Otogi, but I can't seem to breathe…" I said, looking at him. His face immediately fell.

"Oh, no… he's finally snapped," he said. He bent over me, hands on my shoulders shaking me vigorously. My felt my head lull about my shoulders. It's something like being stuck on a roller coaster that's too extreme for you.

"Otogi, that's tickles..." The roller coaster stopped slowly. Head went back again. "No, no, it hurts. Yes, that's the word… 'hurts…' " The roller coaster stopped completely now. I don't want to go again, and they most certainly can't make me.

He watched me some more before looking around in panic and then getting off me in a hurry. Good boy. Otogi would make quite a funny dog. He looked around again, before bending over to help me sit up. My head began to swim. My vision was suddenly taken up by a cloud of black, which then turned to a collage of Technicolor and finally I was blessed with my normal vision. Except everything kept tippin' around and around and around…

"Okay, Ryou, um, we're going to go to the doctor's now, okay?" Duke asked cautiously, crouching down by my side. Such long hair he has. Perhaps he should brush it, it's all messed up. No, stay focused, stay focused. Must get up, must buy the TV and must do it soon.

"No! I need to go buy the TV, I'm fine, I'm fine…" I said, pulling away from him, rubbing the back of my head. Oh, look, my hand turned red!

"Hey, Otogi, wanna see my hand change color!" I asked him. I suddenly put on a very serious face, "But then we need to go buy my TV, hai, Otogi?" He looked at me worridly.

"Um, Ryou…" He said, advancing towards me.

"No peeking!" I yelled, suddenly very angry with him. Stupid Otogi, wanting to know my magic... He may as well ask Mou Hitori no Boku how to send souls to the Shadow Realm. My secret shall stay with me to the grave simply.

"B-but Ryou-" he asked again.

"Look!" I said, showing him one hand. And then a pause. He stared at me, eyes wide and mouth frowning. "Look again!" I said, putting my left hand behind my back now and then showing him the red right hand.

"See! I'm magic!" I shouted.

"Ryou, that's blood-"

"Shh! It's okay, not everyone can do magic, Otogi," I nodded knowingly and placing my right hand on his lips. He paled. I can do more magic now; not only can I turn my hand red, but I can also turn Otogi's face white then green!

He turned around, clamping his hands against his mouth. I crawled over to him, tapping on his shoulder.

"Otogi, Otogi? I think you're the one's who's not well, let's take you home!" I said, standing up and trying to help him up as well. He looked over at my hands frantically.

"No!" He jumped up. He was about to take my hand when he suddenly paused and then reached for the other one. Yes, mortal, don't touch my magic hand. He wiped his mouth across his arm, wincing. Now his arm was red. I couldn't help but giggle at this, such a funny creature Otogi was. He took my left hand in his and took me back upstairs.

"Heel, heel, Otogi! Bad dog!" I yelled this time, pulling away from him. He whipped around to glare at me for the dog comment I suppose, but a look of panic flashed over his face, and then came back to vacation there for a while.

"Ryou, be calm, okay?" He pleaded, taking my hand again. I pouted following him to the door. He jiggled the hand for a moment before turning back to face me again.

"Okay, Ryou, I need your keys," he said, pointing to my pocket.

"No, thank you, the keys are mine and we're going TV shopping," I said defiantly, turning and then walking to go back down the stairs. I heard his light footsteps running up behind me.

"Ryou, the keys, now!" He commanded, spinning me around and holding on his hand. I looked at it. Blink. "Ryou, your head is bleeding, and you're a mess… Let's fix you up a bit, okay…? Give me the keys…" he said more calmly this time, like trying to coax a new cat you've brought home from the animal rescue center from underneath the sofa with a sour bowl of milk.

"I think the one who needs to be fixed, is you, bad Otogi, bad!" I said, waving a finger in his face. He paled again. He is no match against my magic. I'm still a bit dizzy, I wonder why…? It was so noisy around here too… There were some more footsteps, and a cell-phone began to ring… It was kinda overwhelming…

"Ryou, Ryou, come on!" he said, grinding his teeth together. The little colourless dots came back.

"Fine, be that way! Leave me behind, but at least save the bird!"

And so, along with my sanity, my consciousness slipped away.

_…A Little Bit Later… Technically…_

I don't like being sick. I don't really believe that any one likes being sick at all. Once in a while, you may stay home, using it as an excuse for your reason as to why you missed the math test and such, but in all honesty, no one enjoys feeling as though your head has been put beneath a steam-roller or their stomach has been flipped inside out. It's just not a pleasant feeling at all. And following these Heavenly thoughts I rolled off the sofa, hitting my head against something or another. Quite frankly it hurt. The steam-roller has now been replaced by fireplace poker being driven through your temple.

Too much time with Mou Hitori no Boku, must remember to spend time with virgin-minded Yuu-gi Moutou. I blushed at the thought, despite the big eyes and naive visage, the leather clothes, belts and chains were far from an idealistic innocent person. My nausea increased at that moment, I am sure.

"Otogi Ryuuji, explain why you felt the need to put a metallic trashcan here!" I yelled out, pushing myself up. The foot steps came running over, and two hands picked me up to settle me back on the sofa. I felt very silly at that moment. If Otogi can pick you up with ease, you are a bundle of feathers in a human skin.

Dear Kami-sama, that was the most grotesque idea that I could-- Nausea increasing…

"Okay, you just stay here, I'm making you some tea," he said, while turning to go back into the kitchen. My hand reached to grasp his wrists, leaning forward so I could actually reach him. Or miss. Which I did. I leaned forward too much and nearly tumbled off the sofa if Otogi hadn't caught me. I believe that if I ever become drunk, I will be in a state similar to this.

"Um, right, you stay here, okay…?"

"No, no, no… No tea. Glass of water, two pain-killers, get TV, come back, sleep," I said, pulling his face down to see me in the eyes, and though try as I might, I couldn't quite get them to focus. I shook my head and tried again. "Right?"

He looked at me frowning and shaking his head. Don't give me that, you most certainly are not my mother!

"No, you have to stay here and rest, your head-" I pulled his face closer to mine, eyes still not focusing correctly.

"No, I need to get this now, just in case Father decides to come home early or something… He does that you know…" I said, looked off into the space behind me.

Otogi never has to know that father isn't coming back for three months. Buying the TV now is somewhat of a necessity, half to not send my father into a state of permanent shock and secondly because TV's can be very useful things. I saw the TV then, in its sad state. My head lulled heavily on my shoulders. Don't you dare spark at me, I glared at it, giving the thing a warning look. I jumped slightly though, when I thought that the antenna twitched at me. Back to what I was saying. I mustered a large breath and began.

"For the last couple of years I have lived with my hand being impaled on a toy tower, my soul being trapped in several inanimate objects, my arm nearly being torn off, being stuck in the Shadow Realm for several hours with out food, had my mind taken over by two evil, ancient spirits, been knocked out several times, run over by a fake boulder and fallen down the stairs to a particularly nasty tomb. So I believe I will be fine with today's events. And anyway, what if Father comes home to find out not only did his only son break the only television and then proceed to do nothing about it, but somehow managed to get a cut on the back of his head? And then I won't even begin on the broken rice maker, or mother's old mirror or…" I trailed off. I believe that is the most I've said in about three weeks.

I wrapped my cream-colored blanket around my shoulders firmly.

I don't want to implicate that spectacular accomplishment by mentioning the time that I had been dragged into a darkened classroom and snogged for ten minutes before a teacher came and rescued me. As it turned out, I had been pulled in the room because a person thought they were pulling in Otogi and not me (Otogi had been standing on the other side of me, and the clever person who had pulled me in was using a mirror to locate where we were…). Otogi tried to explain to me that the door was locked and that was why he did not rush in to help me. Or take my place, which ever, it did not matter to me.

I never did figure out who it was though. When the teacher opened the door they rushed out and ran down the hallway. Since it was dark, no one really got a good look at him.

And since then I have had a rather large phobia of dark classrooms. Otogi finds this very funny however and will at random pull me into any dim-lit room he can find at school. This, however I do not appreciate. So once in a while I play upon his secret fear of spiders, though very much putting at risk my apathetic view on the arachnids… Yes, very slowly, I do believe I'm developing a phobia. But it is funny to see a person like Otogi scream frantically and then run one hundred meters away in roughly about nine seconds.

You'd think him coming from a long line of clowns and such he would appreciate these mind games much more than he does. So I often tell him this.

"You're a clown! Be _nicer_!"

He kindly explains back that I, with a psychotic alter-ego, should be more sensitive with these types of things.

"But you're a reincarnation of a crazy Egyptian thief! _You _be nicer!"

Touche. And so the battle continues.

Otogi looked at me for a few moments. He blinked. So did I. We shared this interesting conversation for several minutes before I sniffled and gave him a pleading look. Now would be a wonderful time for my eyes to start watering, come on… please..?

He blinked again, blowing a breath of air out the corner of his mouth so that one of his black bangs was flung high above his head. He got up and brushed off his pants. No, don't walk away from me! Otogi- -

"Where are your pain-killers?"

Greater power above: infinity

Ryou Bakura: back down to -5

I do believe I have a chance at victory. Hopefully… Oh, please, don't take that seriously…

**TBC…**

**Translations:**

a. None that I can think of at this moment… I completely gave up any languages I knew for the sake of not failing my exams. S'all good though.

b. Okay, translation for the hitting the head thing… If that was a bit confusing, don't worry about it… it's not really that important.

**A/N: **Ah, yes, the second episode of the TV saga is over, stay tuned for episode three, coming to a computer near you. How to know whether or not there are too many Star Wars ads everywhere... Oh, yeah, by the way, I won't be updating for month 'cause I'll be away and there's no internet connection there… Please review; that'd make my day. It's good karma. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Oh boy, I don't own Yu-gi-oh (that's for sure)… Ano, right…

**Summary**: Ryou decides to get a job at a café and happens to witness a nasty break up between Seto Kaiba and Ryuuji Otogi. So, being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Seto out. Life wasn't complicated enough…

**Couples**:

Eventual RyouxSeto.

Hints of SetoxOtogi.

**A/N: **Thank you again Lil' Riter for the review!

**Fair Game**

Chapter Three

I believe that the only reason why I can live here in this world is because the greater power above pities me every so once in a while and throws me a bone… Ano, I mean creampuffs. Creampuffs are so much nicer than bones, and if they happen to fall upon my head (the greater power above felt guilty for being nice, therefore must turn this into a battle) they won't hurt. But creampuffs could get caught in your hair, and are nearly impossible to get out of your hair neatly… Oh, my, what would be harder? A handful of cream or a handful of meat? I wonder if the greater power above even lets you chose your own preference.

Oh, how sad when the mundane events of life have made me turn to the thoughts of whether or not I'd prefer to be hit upon the head with a bone or a creampuff.

I really think I'm going to cry… But then again, that just could be of the nausea and pain plaguing my body. And the even more, ano, _disturbing_ thoughts of Yuu-gi and his leather… I shuddered again. I have always wondered what inspired Yuu-gi to dress in the way he does, but, oh, my… I fear I never have and never will gather my wits to ask him.

It's not so much the asking that bothers me (that's only about 40 of it) but more so the answer (the other 60). Over all, it's a very sensitive subject. One that requires years of slow and steady bribing and trust. Also known as, a person would be much better off if he didn't ask at all… My most reasonable hypothesis at this time is because of Yami. But then again, Yuu-gi's dressed like that for years and you'd think that Yami would end up warming up to something more… ancient Egyptian…

...Perhaps I've got it all wrong and Yuu-gi's the dark…

…Scratch that, my most reasonable hypothesis is that I've been spending far too much time with a psychopath in my head and need to get out more. They are called "darks" for I reason I suppose.

I followed Otogi with my eyes as he walked into the kitchen, retrieving a clear glass cup and filling it with tap water. He then began to pillage my cabinets, searching desperately for the something I think... I thanked him sincerely while he did this, while he murmured a "no problem," still making a mess of my kitchen. It struck me then that he may he may be indeed searching for the painkillers, and I waited a few moments, thinking that maybe he was looking for something else.

"Ryou, where are your pills…? I can't find them…"

Nope, apparently not. Otogi is a brilliant person, but sometimes has issues with thinking about the most in-your-face-ideas ever… Such as his problem with Kaiba. Talking to his boyfriend at a rocky point in their relationship never crossed his mind, yet creating a new game containing dice and Magic & Wizards was quite a walk in the park for him. I believe a true genius is one who can find and state the obvious.

But not in my case, in my case it's just being blunt and makes me seem terribly shallow and stupid.

I smiled to myself despite my thoughts and directed him towards the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. The rummaging from my kitchen stopped followed by a very slow and meek,

"oh…"

I sighed heavily, oh, what ever are we going to do with you, Otogi? I lay back down, snuggling deeper into the warm folds of the blanket on top of me… Though not very warm, the Egyptian cotton was very soft and comfortable. While I wanted to just buy a normal blue blanket, mou hitori no boku was highly insulted by this and then forced me to buy the Egyptian cotton one. I believe it went something like…

"Yes, ma'am, I'll take the blue blanket," I said, beginning to take my money out of my wallet.

"That all?" she asked me, chewing her gum apathetically.

"Yes, I- NO, dammit, wait," And which time the dark took over. And I was screaming somewhere, tucked into the depths of the Ring. He bluntly ignored my yelling and slamming against my soulroom door. He told me afterwards that he knew that I would do more harm to myself than to him. He then proceeded to buy the Egyptian cotton blanket and when we got to the cash register I managed to ram open the door long soon enough to nearly stop him.

Nearly.

We ended up with each controlling one half of my body, and sadly, I'm afraid that we sent the poor woman at the register into permanent panic because of her fear that the "albino-psycho" would kill her. She called the police and somehow we managed to escape. I feel rather bad for her… Because of a rather large dosage of shock (or a mind-wash, courtesy of dark) the poor woman will now spend her life in an insane asylum until further notice. Bakura told me this one awkward day at breakfast, after he successfully broke my microwave because he "forgot" metal forks do not go in along with the food...

That was the day that the greater power above's points went up to infinity.

Okay, well, not really… but that situation… it's too painful to bring up… I've been scarred… Otogi bought me a large 24-pack box of creampuffs to lighten my mood. Three more to get me to come out of my apartment… Boxes that is…

"Here Ryou, now, we're just going out for three hours at the most, okay?" He said, holding out a hand in front of my face. I shook my head a bit and sat up, taking the glass from him. I took two pills resting in his hand and frowned, slowly popping them in my mouth and swallowing then them down with a large gulp of water and then choking. How nice… One day and I've already had three near death experiences… embarrassment, blood loss and choking.

Great power above: infinity and one

Bakura Ryou: negative six again…

I think I'll have myself a nice long nap after (if) I survive this.

I felt Otogi's hand rubbing my back, and he was sighing. I looked up at him through watering eyes. He was shaking his head in my direction and then put his hand over his mouth and swallowed something. After I coughed a few more times I continued to peer at him curiously. He glanced at me for a moment before answering my questioning looks,

"I needed some too…"

"Oh, you weren't hurt, were you?" I said, beginning to feel bad for being so inconsiderate towards Otogi.

"Headache," he answered, stretching and then checking his watch.

"Well, it's close to twelve thirty now, we should go in ten minutes. For now just let the meds kick in, okay?"

I was taken back at his motherly and commanding tone. Hm, he's a good friend, I don't appreciate him nearly as much as I should…

"Did you get your headache from hitting your head on something when we fell?" I asked, while taking another cautious sip of my water.

"Nah," he said, waving a hand in my direction and walking behind me to the kitchen again. I heard the refrigerator door open. "Got it from you."

Ouch.

And so I sunk further into my blanket, reviewing my thoughts of how the greater power above was going to get him too… And ooooh, was the greater power above going to get him too…

I raised a hand to rub the back of my head, searching for the cut. Ah, there it was… It wasn't big, just a slight slit, nothing too bad. I felt my hair, feeling for any dried blood. None. I found that very curious and began to think I was still unconscious and having a dream. I pinched myself.

Ow.

Okay no. So then I enlisted all ten fingers to look for blood. Why was there no blood? Did I not bleed? Was I going crazy? And so my panic continued. Until I felt a hand flop atop my head.

"If you go on doing that, little Ryou, you'll end up trepanning yourself," he said, putting his face next to mine and chewing a sandwich. I paled. Thankfully, the pills were working and the horrible feeling in my stomach wasn't deciding to make a glorious come-back. But he didn't know that.

"Otogi, please, nausea…" I reminded him gently, putting a hand over my mouth, pretending I was going to spew my stomach, but was instead hiding my grin. He immediately backed away. I continued to rub my head.

"Don't worry about that, I cleaned you up," said Otogi from behind me. I snuck a glance at him over my shoulder. Yep, sometimes I don't deserve him. He may be the one to get me in trouble, but he also gets me out.

"Thanks."

After he was done his sandwich and both of us were certain that neither was going to die if they stood up, we left the apartment. We made sure to take extra care when closing the door and walking down the stairs. Otogi looked over at me, grinning like the cheshire cat. I tilted my head to the side at his sudden pick up.

His smirk suddenly turned to a look of horror and then he screamed, darted over to the banister and then latched himself to it. Was he making fun of me…? His grin vouched for this. Sure, make fun of my lack of skills to battle against gravity and momentum, it was your fault anyway! I slapped him for this. Very hard. He took the joke further by screaming once again and then latching on to other various items.

"Remove yourself from me."

"Don't wanna."

"Remove yourself from the wall."

"Don't wanna."

"Remove yourself from the stairs."

"Don't wanna."

"Remove yourself from my landlord."

…

"Gladly…"

That was the minute that my rent increased by a few extra yen.

I sighed and looked out at the over the railings to the sky above. It was a nice day and the sky was clear blue except for a few meandering and pleasant clouds. I momentarily forgot the chaos-loving best friend of mine and just focused on how good of a day it was. Well, that was until I heard a loud thump and a scream. The landlady. I immediately rushed down to go and apologize to her several times, while ushering the snickering Otogi away. Yes, I most certainly do not deserve him…

The crazy Otogi didn't really mind though and skipped down the stairs after that. I honestly didn't want a repeat of today's earlier events… He interrupted my warnings against that though with a random thought of his own.

"You know, that was a really good mayo sandwich."

I looked over at him.

"I don't know what you were eating- - but I don't have any mayo…"

Pale to green again. Hm, so I_ can_ do magic.

_At Sojiwara Electronics: what's ours is yours(_1

"Otogi, do you think this one would be nice..?" I asked him, while inspecting the rather dusty screen of a rather small TV. It looked nothing like my now deceased TV, and if anything much worse. Otogi did not answer me but continued to chat away on his cell-phone. I sighed and hit my head against the glass screen of the TV. It gave a pitiful "clunk" in reply. I looked up at him, only realizing then that I was dusting the TV with my hair. And since my hair is white… I sighed again.

"Otoooogiiiii!" I whined, dragging myself over to him and then clutching onto his arm. He ignored me and said calmly into his phone,

"Alright, see you then." I studied him closely. He snapped his cell shut and let out a deep breath. Then he was quiet… Too quiet-

"YEEEESSSSSS!" 

"AAIIEE!" I shrieked in return, jumping back.

**CRASH.**

…and knocking over a TV.

Why, greater power above? Why?

_While Walking Down the Street_

"Now, not only do I need to buy a bigger and better TV for my father, but now I also need to pay for that Plasma screen…" I said, turning to glare at Otogi, " _you _made me break." Otogi however, was not paying attention and happily whistling while twirling his cell phone around a finger. I glared some more. And got no response. Of course. He finally looked over in my general direction and said airily.

"Finally! A date!" I pursed my lips.

"Huh?" I answered smartly. It's times like this when you really feel the need to study more for school… I heard some giggles behind me. I turned around and saw a few other teenagers standing in a group and trying not to burst out in laughter at something. I shrugged and then spun back around to talk again with Otogi.

"Have you been listening to me?" He said hotly, his eyes suddenly focusing on me rather than out in space. I sighed irritably. One day, Otogi…

"Of course…" I said, giving up my point. May as well just be happy for him.

"Really?" He pressed. I looked at him and then the ground, answering meekly.

"No."

He frowned at me, shaking his head and catching his phone in his hand. He explained to me kindly and slowly that he had called Kaiba up to speak to him and they had set up a date today to talk about things. I nodded the entire time, and said "yes" at all the appropriate times, fighting back the urge to tell him that I spoke fluent Japanese and he need not to talk so slowly and as if I were a foreigner. He bought my act, or rather, was too focused on Kaiba to do anything about it. That infernal giggling again… I turned around again, they halted behind us, striking a pose trying to cover up that they were following us. I ignored them.

"Well, here's my stop," he said, grinning and holding his thumb up at a place. I looked over at Otogi before looking at the place behind him.

I looked up. Ah, yes, the new coffee-shop. It was rather… large… Two floors and instead of walls there was just glass. It was a very modern and a warm blue color. Looked nice enough. Though I truly had no idea what Kaiba could see in it. Coffee shop hangouts just didn't seem like his type of thing. I then saw the sign. _Kaiba Coffee. _My jaw dropped. Oh, please… He now not only owns a company, millions of yen and an amusement park, but a coffee shop as well.

I believe he has too much spare time on his hands.

"Ja ne (2), Ryou-chan!" He said, disrupting my thoughts and then walking in. Nice to know that you'll always stand by my side, Otogi, at least until Kaiba is concerned. I began to wave goodbye when his head suddenly popped out of the door.

"Oh, and here's the answer to your problem, little Ryou," he said, pointing to a sign and then disappearing once more.

I looked over. I couldn't help but smile, ah, yes, Otogi, you are a good friend. I made a note to make sure to thank him very much when his date with Kaiba was finished. I looked at the sign, **HELP WANTED—PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER. **I took one of the flyers, and inspected the café again. No, that wouldn't be a bad place to work at all. I grinned to myself. Okay, I'd just work here for a bit, get the money, leave, buy the TV and the world would be fine.

Aha, greater power above, what can you say to me now?

I suddenly heard the giggles from behind me again… I bit my lip, trying to keep my cool. Now, now, let them be, they're just trying to intimidate you. I cleared my throat and straightened my posture. I pushed the door, to find it not open. After a few strenuous moments of trying to open a door and having the people behind me laughing, I realized it was a "pull" door. I arched an eyebrow and then pulled it open with a finger and entering slowly.

When I got inside, the people ignored me. I looked around. The store was clean and pleasant, all the chairs and tables very modern indeed. All sleek, and metallic blue. Unlike Kaiba, it had a nice atmosphere to it. I looked over at the counter, noting the boy behind it tapping his fingers irritably on the marble. The blond mass of hair looked familiar, but I let it go. After a few more seconds of standing in front of the doorway and inspecting the place I went over to the counter, looking above the person there to decide what drink I wanted. I heard the tremendous laughter from outside the café. I put my hands calmly into my pockets. The boy behind the counter looked up. I was in shock, quite frankly.

"Ah-- You!" I yelled, jumping back and pointing an offending finger at the person, and my voice successfully cracking. His purple eyes watched me lazily before his head came up and then rested on his hand.

"Bakura?" he asked, curiously. I cleared my throat in an attempt to cover up my extreme reaction. He shook his head, much like Otogi had done.

"H-how have you been?"

"Pfft, I work _here_." I nodded, understandingly. Yes, I needed a job and ended coming to this place. I suppose this is some strange sanctuary for people with bad-luck. Somehow I doubt working for Kaiba makes it better…

"And you?" He said genuinely. I was in shock and the reply did not come immediately. Shouldn't he be in Egypt now?

"I'm fine, just came here for a quick drink before I head home."

"I see," he answered, looking me in the eyes. This was making me uncomfortable.

"Um, is it easy to get a job here..?" I finally asked. He grinned,

"Of cour-"

"MOVE IT, WHAT'S GOIN ON UP THERE?" An angry voice yelled at us. I turned around to see that a line had collected behind me.

"Ishtar, stop hitting on that girl get the line moving!" Another voice yelled from behind a door marked "manager." Marik sighed, flashing the finger at the office before looking back up at me from his tired position. I went slack jawed at the manager's rude comment and now was too embarrassed now to buy a drink. I waved to him, while beginning to walk away.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, give me a call and let's get together sometime," he said, holding out a napkin towards my direction and putting a blue pen back behind his ear. Well, that was quick. Almost as if he was waiting for me… I shooed the thought away, Marik does not stalk people…

_/He gets other people to stalk people for him. / _

I took it and put it into my pocket, saying good bye to him once more before stepping back outside. Well, it wouldn't be at all bad to work with Marik I suppose, even if he was a bit crazy.

That giggling again…

And I was becoming increasingly irritated with the person laughing behind me and turn around to ask them what was so funny. Then I noticed that they were giggling at me and pointing towards… well, below. I turned my head slowly.

A red stain was on my rear.

A large menacing red stain.

And it hit me rather hard with a large and terribly painful wok.

I was wearing my pants from yesterday. When the TV sparked at me and I fell over backwards. I must have landed in some of the spilled pizza sauce.

Great power above: bonus points for being laughed at and the stain, infinity and five.

Bakura Ryou: -10.

I sighed, how could this have happened again? Twice in the same day as well! I believe that this is sufficient enough proof that red foods have some sort of strange attraction to the butt of my pants.

And Otogi… Otogi.

I tore off my sweater and wrapped it around my waist, and angrily entered the café. I looked around, no, okay, they weren't on the first floor, I knew that. I waved to Marik, who didn't see me as he was busy filling a mug with tea, and some mysterious substance from a vile which he pulled from his pocket...

I went over to the elevator, thankfully no one was in it, and then entered the second floor. I was frantic at this time, that elevator ride was too slow. There they were, over in the corner.

I stormed over to Otogi, blushing brightly and very very emotionally drained. He was in the middle of a conversation with Kaiba, waving a hand around happily, while Kaiba sat there patiently and smiling slightly. They looked happy enough. I stood there for a bit, though neither noticed me until a few moments later.

"It was hilarious, but really distressing at the same time, I mean the guy could have been, why, hello, Ryou."

"Did you know about…" I started, but trailed off, wishing I had thought about this earlier. I swallowed a lump in my throat. I wish I had thought about what I was going to say before I actually went up to them and opened my mouth. Life drastically needs a rewind button. He and Kaiba raised an eyebrow at me. I hid my face in my hands, preparing to break into a sob. Kaiba took a sip of his coffee. Finally, after a few moments I gathered all my courage.

"…this…?" I said, pointing warily to my rear. Otogi watched me cluelessly, while Kaiba's face fell into a "I-could-have-stayed-home-today-face."

"Ryou, I'm trying to patch things up with Seto right now--" Kaiba snuck a glance out from under his brown bangs at us. "So, if you don't mind, I really don't want to have a look at your ass right now."

And then I wanted to explode.

"NO! THIS!" I yelled, ripping off my sweater and turning around to show him. He immediately burst into laughter. I heard Kaiba cough a snicker into his drink.

"Oo-oh, that," he said. I heard his head hit against the glass of the window as he leaned his chair back and off to the side to get a better look. Why he would need one, I don't know. I turned to glare at him again.

"Yes, that!"

"Well, yeah, I knew about it, but I didn't know you didn't know about it--"

"Ahhhhhh! If you had a red stain on your pants would you wear them?"

"Yes, draws more attention to my-"

"OTOGI, URUSAI!" I yelled, slamming a fist into the table. I paused for a moment, shaking.

"That hurt, didn't it, Ryou-chan…?"

"Urusai," I said sharply, turning an even brighter shade of red. While I rubbed my equally red fist he went quiet. I turned to face Kaiba, hands on my hips. "Kaiba-kun, good luck with that clown of a boyfriend!" I hissed at him, who in return watched me with the usual apathetic look, but this one had a tint of horror to it. Good. I beat Mou Hitori no Boku to that one, same as Yuu-gi no Yami. I then turned to Otogi, who was still grinning cockily. "And as for you! You'd better hope you get that man back, 'cause he's the only friend you've got!"

Otogi stood up now, his drink over-turned towards me and its contents spilling off the table. I had to look up at him to keep eye contact.

Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I bit back tears as Otogi's face became overtaken by a look of unfiltered hatred for me, yet he said nothing. I let out another exasperated sigh, which came out angry, but ended up being cracked mid-way through because I wanted to cry. The edges of his mouth twitched and I could tell he was itching to yell a number of good insults at me. He finally settled with "leave." I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Kaiba was watching us with some interest.

I turned away from the fuming Otogi and turned to face Kaiba. I bowed my head slightly, taking a pause so I could make sure that my voice didn't hint that I dearly wanted to burst into tears right at that moment.

"Sayonara, Kaiba-kun."

"Sayonara, Bakura," he said back, nodding his head towards me slightly, stoicly. If not that I was looking right at his smug face I wouldn't have been able to tell that he was a bit amused by this entire ordeal.

Meanie…

Shush, I have a lacking of intelligence when I'm going into extreme moods. Shush, I know I can't think of good insults anyway… But I could only think of it this way, Kaiba was being rude, and so was Otogi. They make a good annoying couple.

I could feel the heat radiating from Otogi at this point. I turned away in Otogi's direction, just to spite him and went away. Stares from bystanders and murmurs followed me the entire way. When I got downstairs I went up to Marik at the side of the counter, bowed a goodbye. He waved a lazy hand at me, his chin still resting on his fist, staring contently at the man the yelled at us, who had broken out in a case of angry red hives that covered his body.

I assume they had something to do with Marik's vile-substance (no pun intended).

I felt horrible as I walked away from the place. I was already planning out how I was going to say sorry to Otogi… Maybe I'll buy him something tomorrow and say I'm sorry, or e-mail him… call him? No, he won't like that, best to apologize in person… Life really, desperately needs a rewind button.

I was still bright crimson (nearly the color of pizza sauce I'm sure) from both embarrassment of causing such a scene, the large stain on my pants and for being angry at Otogi. I admit he was mean to not tell me, but I was even meaner for sinking to such a low level as harassing him like that. He even resisted the urge to yell many numerous insults at me, all of which would have been accurate and cold. I've seen him before when he's angry…

I felt so horrible at this point in time. What disappointing friend I turned out to be… no wonder… I wonder if that's why Yuu-gi-tachi and I never hung out more… I wiped away my tears long enough 'till I got to my apartment. Once I was sure that it was locked I burst into tears.

And life refused to hand me a tissue.

**TBC…**

Translations:

1- I couldn't think of any better slogans… ()

2- Something like "see you later."

**A/N: **Right, Ryou's head injury is not that big a deal… and him fainting and all that is mostly from shock, and not so much anything truly bad. So no flames from the doctor-types…

() What's funny is that I'm trying to explain this for the second time… Thank you for reading, please review!


	4. Chapter 4

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Disclaimer: Oh boy, I don't own Yu-gi-oh (that's for sure)… Ano, right…

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Summary: Ryou decides to get a job at a café and happens to witness a nasty break up between Seto Kaiba and Ryuuji Otogi. So, being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Seto out. Life wasn't complicated enough…

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Couples:

Due to my short attention span and inability to hold on to one plot at a time I've made some changes.

OtogixKaiba?

KaibaxRyou?

RyouxMarik?

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A/N:

TT Thank you once more, Lil Riter! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Yah, as for the review thing… Appears I have over 130 hits. I know this means that not everyone read it but still. Oh well, at least it's… uh… noticed. ()

And Black Dying Rose, thanks for the review as well, I await your return!

Annnnnnnd, I'm sorry that it took so long to update!

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Fair Game

Chapter Four

I mentioned that I can only live because the greater power above pities me every so once in a blue moon. Of course, this is true, but what I had ceased to mention was that for every act of pity, there are three misdeeds that need to be done in order to restore some sense of warped balance, courtesy of the greater power above. Yet, despite this, I go on. I've had many opportunities to die, courtesy of a high-speed bus or mou hitori no boku, and I haven't.

This is for three main reasons, the first being that I do not want to die. The second being that as a child I was forced so many vitamins to ensure my health I doubt anything _less_ than a bus moving at light speed could kill me and third because I'm sure there's some celestial bet above seeing how long I'll be able to last before my hope crumbles, all happiness vanishes, my sanity is obliterated and life becomes some snail-shell only to be stepped on my some careless child.

Just some shards caught in the squashed gum on the sole of life.

Oh, what serene thoughts pass through my head during the day… I make Gandhi proud.

I can see it now; I'd be the only mortal capable of being so terribly negative and annoying to Gandhi that he'd resort to violence to shut me up once and for all. Then for this, I'd upset the balance of the world and be shunned by humanity as the economy falls further and life fades to nothingness as we know it. Usually, empires fall because of constant hits by invaders. Well, our world will be the exception. The vast modern world will have fallen because of me.

And so the sobbing continues.

We will call this grand time of darkness "Era of Elite Medieval."

The panicked people will once more blame some religion and perhaps hunt down all white-haired peoples in order to prevent such catastrophic events from happening again. Science will be forgotten and gods will once more hold the strings to the puppet-Earth.

Ah, I can see your plan, greater power above; I serve as both entertainment and a revolution starter. Am I that important?

The table my TV was settled on then collapsed, and the TV sparked angry curses at me. It singed part of the wall black. I groaned.

Nope, no, I'm not.

Greater power above: Infinity and six

Bakura Ryou: negative eleven

I think I'll go take that nap I promised myself now… I got up from the floor and wiped my face free of tears with the back of my hand. I went into my room quietly and changed into another pair of loose and comfy black pants, making sure that there was no offending stain on them. Black, how fitting.

I began to cry harder. I collapsed then on my bed and buried my face into my pillow.

I didn't really think about anything, just mostly wallowing in my own self-pity when I suddenly felt something behind me. I turned around, looking at my room frantically. Nothing. And much to my dismay, an image of the women from Ringu and Ju-On flashed into my mind. I immediately stopped my sobbing and then threw myself in a hurry under my blankets. This was a swell time to think of that… I resisted the urge to wail louder than I was—I really didn't want any extra attention drawn towards me.

A wonderful thought then occurred to me as I was trying to gather my courage to go and get a tissue from my bedside… The woman from Ringu can come through the TV, and the woman from Ju-On scared the person by flickering her TV on and off and then making that weird clicking sound…

I wasn't sure whether to be more afraid of the idea of those two together or the fact that I still forgot to get my TV. And to call the café for a job.

At that point I believe that I stopped caring and began to wail again.

Greater power above: infinity and seven

Bakura Ryou: negative twelve

__

/Get a hold of yourself, landlord. No one's there ./

I steadily stopped crying after his remark and just lay there, holding onto my pillow tightly. This was not one of my prouder moments.

"Well, maybe that's what I'm afraid of," I stuttered, trying to sound defiantly strong.

__

/Stop being so damned dramatic, get your ass out of bed and go call. /

That feeling of me being stupid swelled and I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks to blush.

But he was right of course. For one so strangely sadistic and seemingly heartless, perhaps his point of view would do me more good. I supposed that I would have to just tough it out for once, and I had bigger problems at hand. But what was bigger dilemma than a fight with my best friend?

I sat up, rubbing my eyes so that it wasn't so apparent that I'd been crying my heart out for the past, a quick glance at the digital clock besides my bed, twenty minutes.

It was now about four forty-five now.

I stared, stupefied momentarily at the wall in front of me. I was so sad… Pathetic as I'm sure Otogi or even Kaiba would put it. I should really apologize, I comforted myself… I did intrude on their date when I could have easily just put my sweater around my waste, and walked away. And now… I sigh heavily and blew my nose into a tissue. I threw it into the trashcan. Or near the trashcan. I missed by a foot.

The greater power above is laughing right now.

Perhaps, one day, I thought, I should paint the plain white walls, I though, trying to change the subject. Or at least put something up to decorate it. I spun around on my bed to look at the wall behind me. It was white as well, with nothing adorning its giant empty face. Why hadn't I decorated it yet? I've lived it for… well… about a year now? Maybe, maybe I'll ask Otogi if he would like to come over and help me… I'm sure he'd like that. I'll order him some Chinese food: that's his favorite food right?

__

/Shut up and go call. / It was silent in my head for a moment after that. I do realize that I sound remotely schizophrenic, but that's all right. I swallowed a lump in my throat and stood. I would be strong, call up the café, get a job, call up Otogi, apologize and then call Marik to take my mind of things.

A brilliant plan! I will pull through! I am strong!

I jumped from my bed to fetch my accursed jeans, taking the piece of paper out of them. To find out that I had only half of the little slip. So I did what any mature, independent young adult would do.

Screamed something incoherent and then stormed out of my apartment, ready to go beg for a job at that cafe if I had to.

Then promptly came back in to change out of my pajamas.

….

After everything had been settled, including my nerves, I made my way patiently back to the café, feeling better than I had before. I was certain at this point, that my running into Otogi or Kaiba would be highly unlikely and no further confrontation would be needed for today.

Everything was going swimmingly so far. I did not meet up with my landlady or landlord, whenever I arrived at a street corner the walk sign was always on, I did not step in any stray gum and best of all, my pants were blissfully red-stain free. I was happy, in short one might say. The thought had flashed momentarily in my mind that the people who had made fun of me earlier might still be there, but I doubted it.

Or tried to anyway. I kept turning around to make sure no one was there, and thankfully when ever there was, the odd look they were giving me was because I snapped around suddenly looking frantically at everyone and not because there was a pizza stain on my… backside.

Despite the fact that the whole situation was over, this was still becoming increasingly embarrassing. I began thinking of all the other things that I may have done to embarrass myself without my noticing. What else had Otogi noticed about me that he didn't warn me about? …Paranoia… the downfall of my sanity.

I had planned out then how exactly I would go about apologizing to Otogi. I would order the food and perhaps his favorite movie for tomorrow night, then call him up once that was all settled. Chances are that he probably wouldn't pick up, so I'd leave a message telling him to come over. When he did, I would surprise him with a good and relaxing night. We could get magazines and make funny comments about celebrity's and their strange lives (not that mine was any better). We could, uh… I don't know. Play rounds and rounds of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Anything to make him feel better and know that I was sincerely sorry.

I smiled softly to myself though. Everything was going to be okay now. I would just go on with life. I took off my sweater feeling warmed by the setting sun, and decided after a few more minutes of sun-basting and walking, that I was hungry. The smell of noodles wafted over towards my direction from a block down or so. But I did not feel like noodles. I felt like something more… exotic.

So I decided fries would be a wonderful thing. And so my journey for the golden strands began. I wondered to myself as I walked who came up with the whole idea of fries? They weren't really something you could find by accident. Now, what person decided one day, 'hey, I'll chop up these curious little brown things.' Then maybe, he then accidentally knocked the pieces into some oil or something… But how would he know when to take them out to know they were edible? They don't cook that quickly…

And speaking of something funny yellow things, I then realized there was a familiar mass of blond standing in front of me and staring.

"YOU!" I shouted (again), my hand lifting to point my finger at him like before. But then, as if to spite my happy mood, the worst happened.

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WOK.

And then time went in slow motion. My hand still flying in the air past Marik's chin who in return was currently sailing backwards, head completely thrown back and hair waving like a mane behind him.

"Oh, oh, my, Marik-san, I'm sor-" and then it occurred to me. I might be able to grab him by the shoulder or something and pull him up! Yes, yes, what could possibly go wrong?

Reflecting back on that moment now, I think that the greater power above was probably shaking his head and cracking his knuckles saying "oh the possibilities…"

It was then that I realized something; that I could not reach his shoulder in time. So, being my brilliant self, I decided to instead go for the shirt. But it seemed to be genius at the time, so I executed my plan. Oh, I am one talented fool my friends… one talented fool…

I continued to lean towards him, hand stretched out to grab his shirt. Time was still traveling at a sluggish pace and I thought to myself in glee, _I can make it! I can make it! I can make it!_ Suddenly, just as the tips my fingers grazed against the top of his shirt, I realized this. _I'm not going to make it, I'm not going to make it, I'm not going to make it!_ Repeating over and over in my mind like the broken record player that would not settle down and just die.

Somewhere in the world, there is a little engine that couldn't. He is named Bakura Ryou.

I tried to pull myself back up. It was then that my science teacher's voice said mundanely to me, "Objects usually tend to stay in whatever state of motion they are in. Newton's First Law of Motion in a nutshell."

That meant bodies in motion, stay in motion.

I thought but one thing after that moment. That this…this was going to hurt very, very much.

On cue, time sped up to its normal run.

Wow, a lot happens in roughly three seconds, huh?

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THUD.

"Ow! Wha…? Oh, no…"

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THUD.

"OOF!"

Both sounds of pain were from Marik. I basically just curled into myself and hoped to land on something not quite as hard as concrete. And I did. It was Marik.

Why me? I cracked open an eye and looked at him.

Marik watched me. It made me uncomfortable. I turned red and he laughed. So much for making a good impression… I thought at least with a second encounter, I could have saved face. Nope, never. I decided then and there that I should not attempt to think on my feet ever again.

"Hey, there, Bakura-san, if you wanted to see me so bad, you could have called!" He said, patting my back. He laughed heartily to himself and people were beginning to stare. All I wanted to do at that moment was get up and run back home as fast as I possibly could go. _This is a strange world we live in_, a voice in the back of my mind said. Thankfully, it did not belong to my former self. It continued solemnly _indeed a strange world where the greater power above hates us with a passion and gravity loves us with the same amount of power._

"I, uh, was going to go get a bite to eat, but then, well. Wait, no, okay-"

"Bakura-san, relax, I was joking," he reassured me with a large grin. He was such a carefree person it seemed. And I admit it felt nice to be in his company. His smile made me feel better and I then got up clumsily, offering him a hand. He took it and then shook it as soon as he stood. "So, I haven't seen you in what, three hours or so?"

I made sure to smile at his attempt to joke. I cleared my throat and began.

"Well, actually, I was going to go see you." He gave me such a funny look that I couldn't help but smile some more. Or decipher, but that didn't seem important at the time. "I needed the phone number of the café again, and I was sure that you hadn't been home yet, so I decided to come back." He nodded slowly for a second. "But I got hungry on the way, so now I'm going to go grab something to eat." His expression changed, and it didn't look quite as happy as the earlier one.

"Uh, okay then," he murmured and he began to walk away, waving a hand. "I'll see you later then, have a nice meal."

Put bluntly, I was taken back by his abrupt good bye. So I blinked rapidly and cocked my head to the side.

I'm sure that I must have looked like a confused Samoyed. With a severe case of dust in my contacts.

I watched him strut along, head down and hands in pockets. He seemed happy to see me; I didn't get why he would want to leave so quickly. My immediate response was too think that maybe I had gotten him angry with me for some reason. I thought for a moment. Well, creampuffs make me happy, Otogi has his Chinese food so maybe…

"Please, Marik, wait!" I said, running after him. I caught up with him and said as innocently and sweetly as I possibly could muster,

"Do you want to come with me? It would be nice to have someone around for dinner and I haven't seen you for a long time…." I looked down after that. I didn't want to appear as though I was intruding on him or anything, or that I bothering him, it just seemed like the right and polite thing to do. Of course, there was a short silence after I asked that made me panic quite a bit.

"I…" No, please, just answer and let my misery be done and over with! I knew this was a stupid idea, I should have just left him alone or something, maybe I delayed his going somewhere and he's late? No, no, please, don't be angry!

"I'd love to!"

I nearly melted into a puddle at that moment. I was so relieved I felt I could curl up on a sofa and purr in my content for the rest of the evening. I sighed heavily and resisted the urge to hug him. Food was definitely the way to a man's stomach. I realized then the context usually surrounding that line and took a deep breath, trying with all my might not to blush. Nothing was going to ruin my evening. Hopefully. Please no…

"Well, then, let's go!" I said, lacing my arm through his and bringing him along. He looked down at them and then it occurred to me the situation. I quickly drew back, tripping over my own feet.

"I, um, hurry?" I tried. Just quiet…. Don't say a thing. His mouth rose into a smile and then fell to a deep frown. His hands felt my cheeks then my forehead. He then poked my ribs.

"Thin, pale, slightly cold… No! He's dying of starvation, hurry, hurry, to food, before Bakura-san dies of lack of food!" I really had no idea how to respond to this, but thankfully Marik came in to save me, his tanned face breaking its feigned worry into a large grin. His happiness was contagious, so recollecting myself, I fell back a bit, hand to my forehead.

"We must leave now! We don't know how much longer I have!" I replied weakly. We quickly burst into laughter, collapsing onto each other for support before the sidewalk do could that for us.

Greater power above: Infinity and six.

Bakura Ryou: back to negative eleven

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TBC…

A/N: Okay, there we go… Yeah, it was shorter, but I figured no update is worse than a short one! 3, 000 words isn't really that bad though. Well, review please! 'Till next time, later!


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